she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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