i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
Iโm getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
Thatโs two in three months. You really know how to live.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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