what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
