Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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