I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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