no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The power of my boobs compel you
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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