I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
