Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
