You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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