I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
