its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
