I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
