To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
