Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
