Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
