Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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