My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
please don't ironically join a cult
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