Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
