Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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