And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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