She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize