Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
