I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
