Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
