just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just puked most of my soul out..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
