I wish I could teleport
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You're a disaster
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