You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.