Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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  (312): i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id. http://tfl.nu/1l5p
  Replies (19) Good night (495) Bad night (2368) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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  (412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3
  Replies (30) Good night (10141) Bad night (1470) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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  (323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg
  Replies (6) Good night (2916) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.

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  (254): I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me. http://tfl.nu/dyjh
  Replies (8) Good night (3407) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it

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  (407): Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it http://tfl.nu/9yek
  Replies (3) Good night (2050) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.

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  (512): I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me. http://tfl.nu/lmi5
  Replies (5) Good night (1530) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong

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  (512): Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong http://tfl.nu/wvqv
  Replies (14) Good night (2727) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.

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  (780): Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex. http://tfl.nu/0kw1
  Replies (7) Good night (879) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Lesbians are weird.

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  (208): She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk".... (615): Lesbians are weird. http://tfl.nu/wkyn
  Replies (4) Good night (1567) Bad night (516)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.

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  (203): what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/l6g2
  Replies (9) Good night (1188) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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  (231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche
  Replies (8) Good night (1621) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?

  (1-818): View more from California

  I'm about a 7.95

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  (818): On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies? (1-818): I'm about a 7.95 http://tfl.nu/5dnz
  Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.

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  (979): It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people. http://tfl.nu/1jp1
  Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair

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  (+31): Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair http://tfl.nu/outv
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1437) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt

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