my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.