so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize