There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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