yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
where am i from again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
