Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
