I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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