Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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