once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
