Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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