I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
