I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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