I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
