Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize