I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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