She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
