on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
