Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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