so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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