pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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