I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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