Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
