dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
