i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you win again, gameday.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
