Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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