i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
