i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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