you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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