so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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