its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
