I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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