Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
