Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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