pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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