Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Houston, we have a squirter
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
