Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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