don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
